OLD SCHOOL DEATH METAL FUCKING RULES AND YOU KNOW IT

Hello world, I am not very good at blogging, which is why I barely write anything anymore. I've also kind of ran out of things I hate, so I figured I'll write about something I don't hate.

This just happens to be DEATH METAL. Here, let me recommend you some bands that don't suck.



First up is Morgue. Some brutal ballin shit from good old US of A. They released one album called Eroded Thoughts, and kinda just disappeared off the face of the earth. I think some of them started this stonerdoom shit. I should remind myself to check that out. Anyway here's a track from their first and only full lenght, released way back in 93, it sure has a pretty fucking unique sound and is in my opinion underrated as fuck. Should be up there with all the early greats of death metal. Even if you don't like it, you can't deny that that is at least one of the best fucking death metal logos you've seen in your entire life.







Next up is NECRONY.

Formed sometime really fucking long ago in Sweden, official land of homosexuality and faggotry. Released an album called Pathological Performances in 93, and later went on to become this really big Grindcore band called Nasum.
I don't know about you lot, but I could just never get the hang of Nasum for some reason, still don't know why actually, they should be right up my alley. But anyway, when I discovered this shit i was blown away. It has loads of Grindcore in it for a death metal album, which isn't really all that weird seing how they later formed Nasum and all that. Anyway check it out. The best way I can describe this is as a Swedish(slightly gayer) version of Carcass. Without all the doctor shit, just pure brutal lyrics you can actually make sense of.
I only found this gay video with a lot of text on it, but just listen to it.

COOL METAL DUDES THAT ARE STILL INTO METAL pt. 2

KATON DE'motherfucking PENA

Fight the power!

He looks like a black Rob Halford now though, minus the gayness maybe.
or more like Rob Hellfro (you gotta admit that is pretty clever).

This guy knows his metal as well.
He started some shit out back in the really early days with a band called Phantasm. I think they even had that bassist that was in Metallica for like 2 days or something.

Anyway. Phantasm released two demos, which both are fucking awesome, and you should totally check them out. I think they rereleased that shit in some compilation thing. Buy it.

Now I'm gonna be honest though, I haven't really heard anything other then the two first Hirax albums, which are fucking awesome as well. I even saw them live once, and they played a bunch of new songs and I was like.. Hey this shit sounds awesome I'm totally gonna fucking buy their new albums or whatever after the show. Then they played Bombs of Death and I forgot about the whole thing. Come to think of it, I think I managed to steal a patch and a sticker though.

I don't think he's done much more then sining on two awesome releases, being an awesome vocalist/frontman, and touring fucking everywhe.

Oh wait. He have.

He has his own fucking record company(at least I'm guessing this is his idea). It's called BLACK DEVIL RECORDS. Now, I'm not sure if that is somewhat racist, but I find it pretty funny. Anyway he's selling a bunch of awesome stuff, including some pretty sweet compilations. at the website you should check it out and give him some money Right fucking now. Some of it is even pretty damn cheap.

And just look at those albums he's selling. Morbosidad? That's pretty obscure. Imagine if people like Dave Mustaine and Tom Araya would be into those bands now. It's kinda like that, only he's black and his name is Katon, and he eats metal for breakfast, and then he shits it out. And if he could, probably even fuck it too. I bet if it was legal to marry a music genre, Katon would so fucking marry Metal. Just look at how fucking metal he is. Just the way he talks is fucking metal.

Just look at this video. Look.

The only other old metal dude I could imagine releasing something like that is this guy right here (to the left, you fucking idiot). Actually I faintly remember hanging around those guys when they were all posing for pictures and stuff. Shit, I should have gotten one too, and told him to revive Phantasm.



And I'm not gonna write a COOL METAL DUDES THAT ARE STILL INTO METAL pt. 3 with Fenriz in it, bucase he's doing a damn good job keeping up his true and old school image just by himself, so yeah. Fuck you Fenriz.

Metal dudes that are still into metal pt. 1.

Ever noticed how almost everyone that is now considered "metal legends" have absolutely no idea what is going on? They're all just basically a bunch of old posers who wrote some good riffs back in their younger days. Try walking up to Gary Holt, Chuck Billy, Dave Mustaine, basically anyone who was big bag then and still lives off their first records. Hand over a demo or something. Chances are they most likely won't even check it out. They probably won't even speak to you unless you bring their new record for them to sign. They have stopped to be metal, ceased to be true, they are ex metal.

Most of them wears ridiculous clothes on stage like baggy shorts and beanies, are either bald, or have some hip hairstyle going on, grows silly facial hair (often goatees), gets cheap tribal tattoos, and tries generally too hard to look like a tough guy.
Here you can see some fat tattooed douche trying to sing for exodus. He think he's being all bad ass with the tattoos and baldness, but ends up looking like a fat fuck in a shirt. This is what the generations to come will think is metal. Think of the children, man. Paul Baloff would have beaten this shit to a pulp in a heartbeat, and so should you.



Though, there are still those who refuse to give up on giving up on being metal. The few and the proud. These are personal heroes, and who I'm gonna write about.

DAN MOTHERFUCKING LILKER

Coolest dude ever.

Now here's a motherfucking who still knows what metal is all about. He is actually cooler now then he was in the eighties. This guy knows his metal. Just check that shit out. He has a fucking Blasphemy shirt. Most people that are into black metal isn't even into blasphemy, and this is the dude who started Anthrax, what a guy. I don't know when this picture is taken though, because he has looked the same for the past 20 years.

He haven't played in a single shitty band. I haven't heard Hemloc though, but they seem alright. I heard there was an entire track on the which was just the band listening to a Hellhammer song fom Triumph of Death.

Ok, first off he started Anhrax. Along with Scott Ian ofcourse, but he's a douche. He played lead guitar back then, and wrote a bunch of stuff for Fistfull of Metal. Which is to me, the only Anthrax album. He was pretty much pioneering Thrash metal.
Then he started Nuclear Assault, and SOD, and pioneered fucking crossover.

I'm gonna have to finish this later, fuck.

So Phil from Malevolent Creation killed a guy

Some crackhead tried robbing a store, and who's there to save the day? God damn Phil from Malevolent Creation. What a hero.

Read for yourself.

Here's some lyrics from their second album, coincidence?

Monster:

"Seize the pipe, offer your life, inhale this obsession.
Filling the lungs of minorities youth, coincidental connection?
The sickness spreading, into their lives, free-base infecting.
Who will pay for their lives?
The gullible one grabs his gun, sticks it to your head.
For a piece of smoking disease, squeeze the trigger until tour dead.
Mind is thrown in disarray, for a vice, unconscious slay.
Governmentally induced, no one except yourself to blame.
No one to blame, suicide this game.
Shell of a man left to wither and die.
Deteriorating waste, ignoring his mind's cry.
Addiction continues, more population to abuse.
MONSTER!
Expanding into your lungs, banish your right of thought.
Tasting your foul sorrow, sickening trend of this plot.
Is this what your soul commands? How much rock can you smoke?
Easy prey for government plans, take this genocidal toke.
Monster!, Monster!, Monster!"



All he wanted was some god damn chocolate milk, AND HE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO HIM. JUST ONE CHOCOLATE MILK.

Power metal.

How the fuck did a genre so awesome become so gay? Power metal used to be all about manly shit like metal, dragons, barbarians, vikings, metal, and more metal. Suddenly, somewhere along the way, something took a turn for the worse. Here is two images I made to help me explain.
It's basically just a picture I found of Conan the barbarian, and I added a guitar. This image has pretty much every ingredient power metal need to be good. A huge fantasy battle, manliness, skeletons, metal and flames. Conan was a huge influence on metal back then, probably because he's the essence of manliness. Pure testosterone, pure awesome.



I don't really know much about new power metal, other then it's shit and has loads of keyboard solos. So I will just let the image speak for itself.

Heres some videos I uploaded to youtube, just to prove how awesome this genre once was.





And heres a video of a some band called Dark Moor. I didn't really think it would be this bad at all. I kinda speechless.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the new Lich King album is gonna fucking kill stuff.

I'm assuming all of my readers and legions of totally true fans already have heard the new thrash sensation Lich King. If you haven't, you're probably a poser, have short hair and think German thrash sucks.

Anyways, the cover art itself pretty much tells us that this is gonna be the most brutal thing since the viking raids on Lindisfarne in 729 AD.

This is what it looks like
And this is what it looked like after about 3 seconds on my screen:

Underrated Thrash

Here's a couple of awesome thrash bands for all you cuntfucks who think listening to Exumer is kvlt and underground.